Carnitas

This was a topic on the Hat not long ago. (which is confusing enough as it is, because I think of John's blog as the full URL, but want to type it as "The Hat" for readability and pronunciation. But Jodi and I refer to Arby's as "The Hat," or often simply "Hat." As in, "ooh, hat on the next block." "I'm hungry for Hat" and the link).
What the fuck is carnitas? I've seen recipes that call for everything from green beans to beer. Which, you know, is fine with me. Because carnitas never struck me as something that had an original recipe that it has since devolved from. I had assumed that it was a technique, probably one that involved throwing shit in a fryer. Ok, make that hoped. But now, after a few days of pointless web trolling and a great vat of "slow cooked pork shoulder with tequila, lime and fuck-loads of garlic," I've really lost all bearing. I'm trying to imagine a plate of meat that I would hastily return to the counter because it is clearly not carnitas. And I've come up with the following

1. It's not pork.
2. It's in chunks
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3. It's chewy

And even John's beloved TaqV breaks that third one from time to time.. So what's the deal? Fall apart meat with crispy ends? Is that it?

And, yeah, I know. If I voluntarily eat at the Hat so I shouldn't be giving this much thought to meat. Fuck you too.